Space Rogues Coast to Coast

Attack O' da Klawed Sumfing

An' da first day o' Krumpmas

Today, we was blessed by da cunnin’ fist o’ Mork, and was given a right toofy gob ta smash in addishun to some floppier, gooey gits. We was ‘splorin da underhive ta find da git dat was takin’ all o’ da food for ‘isself. It was real ’ot down dere, ’cause o’ all da lava. Da lil’ lord said sumfing about it bein’ worf a lot cause it’s name is Adam an’ Tium. Is a stupid name, but da oomies is always given perfectly good stuff stupid oomie names. E’ said we could take it ta da surface wif us if we sprayed water on it, but I forgot me bottle an I didn’t need ta whiz. Anyways, in da tunnels we found some o’ da missin’ food and dey were lookin at us funny, so we started ta krump’em. Da little Atti got cornered by a couple o dem and dey started slobberin on ‘im an ’e was screamin fer ’elp and we all ’ad a laugh til ’e put ’is dakka in da poor feller’s mouf and blew its back ‘alf off. Anyways, a big gooey git tried ta sneak up on us, but ol’ Bindy don’t let nuffin’ by ‘im an’ was on ‘im like a squigg on a limpin snotling an I ’sploded ’im wif a poke o’ da glowy stick. If dat ‘ad been all o’ da krumpin’ for da’ day, I woulda been ‘appy, but da emprah provides as da sistah sayz. We is goin deeper into da caves, an’ Atti tells me, “Oi, Bindy, dat git called you a git. You gonna do sumfin’ bout dat?” I sayz ta him, “WWAAAAAGGGGHHHH” an I ran over to ‘is pile o’ stuff an started callin’ ‘im a git while I crunched it. Well, I felt sumfing sharp in my back and waz finkin’ to myself, “Today must be Krumpmas, cuz dere’s a zoggin git on my back in need o’ a krumpin’.” I was ‘appily krumpin away at day git, but da dark Jef and lil’ furry fella shot ‘is leg off ’fore I could finish wif ’im. I was gonna tell dem dat dey was bein’ impolite, but da lil’ lord said ‘e wanted ’is gob an teef, so I pulled da git up ’fore ’e fell into da pit by ’is gut noodle. An dat was da first day o’ krumpmas.


[[Administratum note: The xeno is partially literate. In the future, any formal requests for its purging are to be coded. Disparaging comments should be made as verbosely as possible. The journal entry is marked to be destroyed, along with the console used for its entry.]]


Peachpunk sandricdoliba

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